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My Blueprint for a Happy and Successful Life in College and Beyond

April 1, 2021 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

A Fan recently wrote to me about starting college and asked for my recommendation about what she should study in order to be a successful writer. She heard me speak a few years ago and remembered that I had studied business and entrepreneurship. She wanted to know if it would be a good path for her to follow. I’m honored to be asked this question, especially by such an exceptional young woman who happens to be a very talented writer.

When I responded, I found myself writing advice about college that was also super-helpful to me for life in general. It’s taken me 20 years, including an undergrad degree, a masters degree, a business program, 12 years in the corporate world, and 5 years as an entrepreneur to develop into the person I am today professionally. Looking back, I’ve learned a lot during that time of exploration and personal development.

So, I’m sharing my advice to her in hopes that it will also help you wherever you are in your life’s journey. Here’s my blueprint for a happy and successful college career and beyond:

Learn marketing – This is the #1 skill that’s helped me successfully spread the word about my books. Not scam tactics, but real strategies to connect with your readers and build relationships. Not icky manipulation, but heartfelt marketing that communicates meaning about what you’re doing and shares how it benefits people. Discover ways to authentically connect with people and to share your books, message, and ideas with heart. Learn how to package your ideas and products in ways that people can instantly understand their value. These entrepreneurial skills are the best ones you can possibly have for designing a successful creative life.
Hone your craft & create lots of art – Keep writing things that you love to write. Create stories, books, and experiences that set your soul on fire. Share them with people so you can cultivate your art. Challenge yourself to write beyond your comfort zone as well.
Meet a lot of people – Take opportunities to go to different types of events where you’ll meet lots of new people. Have a business card (even if you don’t have a business) with your phone number, email, website, Facebook professional page (if you don’t have one, create one), and other social media handles that you’re active with. When you return from events, send connection requests to the people you most enjoyed via LinkedIn and Facebook. You never know who is going to become your new best friend, your business partner, or change your life in some magical way (and, there’s a very high likelihood that you will change the lives of each person you meet … but only if you have the courage to meet them).
Only accept advice from people who are happy and successful at what you want to accomplish – Whether it’s writing a best-selling book, managing your finances, having a healthy relationship, or building your business empire, always seek people who are both happy and successful at it. Otherwise, their advice/opinion is typically irrelevant … if it’s not working for them, it probably won’t work for you either. ? Example: follow people who are doing social media well and watch them and learn how they’re connecting with their Fans.
Make it up as you go along – Remember to have fun! When I started my undergrad program, I was a Psychology major. I switched to Communication mid-way through. But, the knowledge I gained through my Psych classes still benefits me today when I use it for marketing and helping people. You are the author of your personal hero’s journey, make it a good one! ?
Take extraordinary care of yourself – You are so precious and deserve the best in life. Work hard and stay true to yourself and your vision. If someone enters your life and tries to tear down what you’ve created or hold you back (even unintentionally), lovingly let them go. Respect your body, mind, heart, and soul. Your energy is precious … don’t waste it with people who are on a different trajectory.

You are meant for greatness and it’s okay to be extraordinary and use your gifts, even if others can’t always relate. When making a decision, ask yourself, “Is this the most loving choice for me in this moment?” and let the answer guide your actions. If the choice is in alignment with your values and your vision for your life, it’s probably a good one even if it seems scary.

So much of life is about learning through experience. Look for the good in every situation and know that everyone struggles from time to time. Don’t dwell … just learn and grow. Choose to make it your success story and you’ll always move forward to greater levels of fulfillment.

Please share your dream with me so I can help hold the intention and celebrate you when you achieve it! If you’d like more strategies for creating magic, passion, and aliveness while achieving your wildest dreams, join my VIP Fan Club and receive inspiration delivered to your email inbox each month.

Beauty, Bliss, Business

Adventures in Independent Children’s Book Publishing

March 16, 2021 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

How I Became an Independently Published Children’s Author

As a little girl growing up in rural Virginia, I had big dreams of becoming a writer, a teacher, a mother, a princess, and a mermaid. After many years of climbing the corporate ladder and learning the publishing business, I’m finally living my childhood dreams. I feel lucky to have built an entrepreneurial life where I can write books, give inspirational talks, be a mermaid, and make a positive difference in the world.

But I wasn’t always certain that those dreams would come true. Up until about a decade ago, I was a corporate employee who enjoyed her job, but wasn’t feeling passionate and excited about it. Even though I was “successful” and had a fairly comfortable life, I could feel my soul yearning for more. I wanted to feel more fulfilled and that my actions made a bigger impact. At the time, I wasn’t sure exactly what I’d be doing, I just knew that I needed to create massive space for a change in my life.

While I was going through my soul searching, I received a gift of adversity. Although I was doing well in my career and being consistently promoted, I had an embarrassing secret … I was being bullied by a person in my office. I tried everything I could think of at the time to make it stop, but it just kept becoming worse. I was focusing on my job and doing the best I could while trying to minimize the big emotions I was feeling about the situation.

The idea for the story of my first book, The Little Rose, came to me while I was driving to work one day. I was bawling because I didn’t want to go to the office. That day in the car, I felt so desperate. I had given up the façade of knowing what to do. I just kept thinking ‘help me, I’ll try anything.’ The story downloaded to me so quickly. It was as if I wasn’t even writing it, I was just writing it down. I scrambled in the car to find any bits of paper I could to capture it. At stoplights, I wrote down as much as I could. It was a beautiful and surreal experience.

When I got home that night, I typed up the story, printed it out, and put it in a drawer. I didn’t let anyone read it. I learned a lot through my experience and realized that everyone has the right to shine brightly. It’s senseless to dim your light to blend in with the rest of the dim bulbs.

It wasn’t until after a random conversation over a year later that I unearthed it, read it again, and decided to share it with the world. A woman at a conference persistently asked me what else I had written and I reluctantly revealed that I had written a story about a little rose growing up in a weed bed who thinks that she’s the weed. She learns to embrace her differences as gifts and to appreciate herself for the beautiful rose that she is. The woman said that she got goose bumps and that I HAD to do something with the story because her grandchildren needed that message. That’s when the light bulb went on for me and I thought “maybe this can be a children’s book.”

The idea of publishing a children’s book was simultaneously tantalizing and terrifying for me. I had never done it before. I didn’t even know anyone who had. I thought about the dreams I had as a little girl and how amazing it would feel if I could write books that helped kids move through difficult seasons in life. Despite the fear, I felt so compelled to do it that I took action daily to make it a reality. My passion for the story and its message kids really enabled me to go for it.

Initially, I was scared to tell my story. I worried what others would think of me. I’ve learned that the most important thing is to be your authentic self. Trust that others will get what they’re meant to get from their interactions with you. By telling my story, I enable others to be brave and share theirs. And, I’ve found that almost everyone can relate to the experience. When I was honest about it, things really started happening for me and my book.

I like to say that everything good that’s in my life right now is as a result of courageously pulling that story out of the drawer and taking action toward my dreams. When I stepped forward in faith, vision, and determination, I independently published The Little Rose. Two weeks later it became a #1 best-seller on Amazon and then stayed at #1 for over 60 weeks. It changed everything in my life by showing me that words and actions can truly make a positive difference in the world.

Since then, I’ve been following my inspiration to write and publish 13 books in 3 genres. I even met my husband, beloved children’s author Derek Taylor Kent, several years ago while doing an author visit at an elementary school. After we got married, we combined our two children’s brands to create Whimsical World, an innovative brand with the mission of inspiring, delighting, and educating children while planting seeds of self-esteem and high achievement. We now have books for all ages and whimsical merchandise like enamel pins and lunchboxes. Getting to do what I love with the man I love is one of the greatest gifts of my life.

Why I Chose Independent Children’s Book Publishing

One of the biggest decisions today’s aspiring authors make is whether to go the traditional route with a publisher (whether large or small) or to explore the independent publishing path. I chose to go independent and many writers have asked me about my decision. So, here’s the scoop: when I made a commitment to myself eleven years ago to bring The Little Rose children’s book to life, I had limited experience with self-publishing and was beginning to understand the advantages and disadvantages of the variety of publishing options available.

I attended writers’ conferences and networking events with writers. I asked both traditionally published and independently published authors about their experiences. I learned so much and decided to independently publish The Little Rose for several reasons:

Passion and Speed – I felt a burning need to get the uplifting message of The Little Rose to children quickly. I didn’t have the time or patience to woo an agent, find a publisher, go through the whole process, and then wait for a slot on their release calendar several years later.
Control – I wanted to be 100% happy with the final result of all of my hard work. I wanted to choose the right illustrator to bring my story to life and to influence the ultimate look and feel of my book. Even though I published independently, having a high-quality product was really important to me and I knew I could find the right partners to make that goal a reality.
Entrepreneurial Spirit – I’ve always been very entrepreneurial and I was excited about the possibility of building a business around doing something that I absolutely loved. I also learned from other authors about the value of the rights tied in with a book and felt like I would be able to make those decisions for my brand better than a big publisher could. And, my background was in marketing. I believed that I could leverage my knowledge and skills to be successful.
Happiness – When I talked with other authors, the happiest ones tended to be the self-published authors. They had control over their destiny, their schedules, their agreements, their rights licensing, etc. That really appealed to me.

My best advice for authors who are exploring traditional vs. independent publishing is to talk with successful authors who have already done it. See what their experiences were like and what they would do differently knowing what they know now. Find out who’s happy and why. Writing and publishing my first book was one of the most challenging and rewarding things I’ve ever done.

Independent publishing is exciting and easier than it’s ever been before (although it’s still not an easy business), but it isn’t the right solution for everyone. Only the individual authors can truly decide what’s right for them, their books, and their careers.

Insights and Advice for Aspiring Indie Authors

Building my business and the Whimsical World brand is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Here are a few strategies that I employed to accomplish my goal of publishing The Little Rose.

Talk with people who’ve accomplished what you want to accomplish. I reached out to people in my network, told them about my book and my mission, and asked if they knew anyone I should talk with. That’s the best way to learn: from people who have already achieved your goal – they have so many great insights on what works, what doesn’t work, and what they’d do differently next time. It’ll greatly accelerate your learning and your success.
Have a healthy author success mindset. Believe that anything is possible and open yourself up to opportunities as they appear. There may be times when you feel like giving up … DON’T. Just reset your mindset to success and keep moving toward your passion.

Hire a first-class mentor/coach. Having a mentor who’s successful in the area that you want to succeed in can be invaluable. They can serve as a guide and hold you accountable for stretching outside of your comfort zone in order to achieve your goal. It’s no coincidence that some of the highest achievers and most powerful people in the world have great coaches. They can dramatically improve your results.

Get out into the world in a big way. Don’t hide at home behind your computer. Go out and network, meet fabulous new people, and share your vision with the world. That’s the best and fastest way to spread the word about your books.

Marketing Strategies That Really Make a Difference for Indie Authors

At the most fundamental level, marketing is about connecting with the people who might be interested in your product, making them aware of what you offer, and compelling them to make the purchase. The best book in the world will never be read if no one knows about it. The goal is to make sure the right people (your target audience) know about your book. Here are a few strategies that will help you spread the word about your books, connect with readers, and attract more media attention:

People – The real secret to my success is people. I love people. I enjoy meeting new people, connecting with readers, and supporting people in achieving their dreams. Be willing to give first. Helping others will eventually translate into people helping you. And, always be authentic in your relationships (just be you).
Facebook – The best way to attract more Fans is to be a genuine Fan. Facebook is your friend. Create a Facebook Fan Page, learn how to use it, and help others by promoting them and their books. It’s also great to build relationships with writers to offer each other mutual support and celebration. Actively participate and engage your readers/Fans. Make it fun and reveal some behind-the-scenes stuff on being a writer. Always be yourself and you will have a blast!
HARO – A great way to get you and your book mentioned in the media is to subscribe to the free service, “Help A Reporter Out.” (www.HelpAReporter.com) These are reporters who are seeking people to interview for their stories. Check the emails each day and see if your book might be a good fit for their needs. Respond promptly, succinctly, and professionally and you may find yourself getting a lot more media coverage.

Continually up-leveling your writing, your network, your marketing, and your business will have a profoundly positive impact on your life.

Enjoying the Journey

The past ten years have been an amazing journey. For me, the best parts of being an author are hearing that your book has an impact in the lives of children and being able to help others achieve their dreams. I love receiving fan mail and hearing stories from the children and adults who have fallen in love with my books.

Being an entrepreneurial author is a challenging and fulfilling adventure I’ve undertaken. I’m so grateful that I had the courage to follow my heart to make a positive difference in the world. Becoming an author has truly transformed my life for the better, enabling me to make my childhood dreams a reality. I’m living proof that it can be done. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it. One of the most important things I’ve learned is not to wait on things that really matter in life or business. If I can do it, so can you. Everything is possible. Take action today and let the magic unfold.

Beauty, Bliss, Business, Inspirational Articles

Six Secrets to a Happy, Healthy, Passionate Life

January 10, 2016 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

I’ve been on a journey over the past few years to live a more passionate life, one that incorporates my core values of love and connection, lifestyle freedom & business success, fitness and well-being, fun and adventure, and contribution and legacy into my life in a holistic, balanced, and healthy way. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned a few powerful strategies that work for me. Each day I strive to accomplish these goals no matter what:

Meditate and honor my soul. I spend 22 minutes in the morning after waking in meditation: simply sitting up in bed, listening to the stillness, and breathing. Everything flows better in my life when I’m consistent with my meditation practice.

Workout and honor my body. I typically hit the gym for weights and cardio every day. Sometimes I dare myself to try exciting fitness adventures like kickboxing and trapeze. Even taking a walk can make a world of difference. Honoring my body by giving it something productive to do and achieve has truly transformed my life.

Connect with someone I love and honor my heart. One of my highest values is connection. Whether it’s a phone call with a family member, a meaningful conversation with a friend via text, or sharing ideas over lunch with a colleague; connecting on a heart level fills me up so much and is one of my favorite things to do.

Take a step in the direction of one of my dreams and honor my ambition. I’m motivated by possibilities and results. I see the possibilities when I visualize what I want. In order to get results, I have to take action in business and in life. So, I take at least one action daily toward my dreams. On a really productive day, I’ll take massive action toward several goals.

Inspire someone and honor my mind. Facebook is one of the tools I use to nurture and nourish my mind. I love reading friends’ posts and get so inspired by what they’re doing and creating in the world. I also like to challenge myself to be open and vulnerable by sharing my own ideas and experiences. Hearing from friends and Fans that my posts make a positive difference in their day means the world to me.

Have fun and honor my spirit. Life is meant to be fun. Each day I do something that enlivens me and/or makes me laugh: watching a funny video, riding my bike along the ocean at sunset, surprising someone with a thoughtful gift, planning an adventure with a friend, reading a powerful book, dancing around the house, eating in a unique restaurant, and many more!

Life is more fun and fulfilling when I align my intentions, time, and energy with my values and take action daily. When I’ve accomplished these goals by the time I lay my head down on my pillow at night, I know that I’ve given it my all and set myself up for maximum success, life balance, and well-being. Doing so helps me stay focused on what really matters in my life and gives me the energy and passion to fully go for my dreams and make a difference.

Beauty, Bliss, Business

How I’m Creating Peace of Mind and Running a Business During the Spread of the Coronavirus

January 4, 2016 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

It’s no secret that the coronavirus is spreading throughout the world and disrupting daily life for millions of people both personally and professionally. As an author and entrepreneur who’s already fairly germophobic, I’ve watched the developments with increasing dread about the potential impact this virus will have on people, society, and business. The one thing we can all agree on is that the spread of the coronavirus is hazardous to our health and our wealth.

To be honest with you, I’m scared. My heart goes out to the people who are suffering all over the world. The human spirit is indomitable and I’m confident that we will overcome this challenge. But I’m also worried about what might happen in the meantime and feel practical preparation is warranted.

I thought I would take a moment to share the things that my husband and I are doing to prepare in hopes that it might be helpful to our fellow authors and entrepreneurs in navigating this new era.

We’re paying attention to developments in our local area and in the areas in which we’re scheduled to appear. I’m not normally one to ingest a lot of news, but I think this situation has global impact and is worthy of my energy and attention. Twitter, the Johns Hopkins coronavirus tracker, the WorldoMeter coronavirus outbreak tracker, and Dr. John Campbell’s daily update videos on YouTube have been the best sources I’ve found for the latest news.
Washing our hands and using hand sanitizer … A LOT. I’m more mindful of every surface I touch in public and how many other people also touched it. I was already a frequent hand-washer, but now I’ve upped my game. I’m no longer hugging or handshaking, instead preferring the touch-free “Namaste bow” from a healthy distance.
Stocking up on supplies at home. We typically eat mostly fresh foods and run our household pretty lean with a few trips to the market each week. As I watched the confirmed cases begin to grow a few weeks ago, we stocked up on canned goods, oatmeal, potatoes, beans, protein bars, rice, frozen foods, pasta, water, toilet paper, pancake mix, vitamins, etc. to keep our household running smoothly in case at any point we discover we’ve interacted with someone who is later confirmed to have the virus and we need to self-isolate at home for a few weeks.
Purchasing cleaning and hygiene products including disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer, Lysol disinfectant spray, hand soap, etc. to kill germs on hands and surfaces. My purse is loaded with disinfectant supplies and I use them as necessary.
Keeping up our self-care routine (meditating, working out, getting enough sleep, etc.). It’s easy even in the best of times to let self-care go by the wayside. It’s even more important during times of stress to take care of ourselves so we can feel our best no matter what’s going on in the world.
Using disinfectant wipes at the gym before using the equipment. It may look crazy and it not make a big difference, but it makes me feel better when touching surfaces in public that many others have already touched.
Creating contingency plans for our business. If the coronavirus continues to spread, which scientists have predicted that it will, then there may be a time when a large number of people are at home, can’t go out to events and festivals, and may not be purchasing books. We have a plan detailing what we can do to reach our Fans in fresh new ways and bring the joy of reading to kids wherever they are in the world while keeping our business running and (hopefully) thriving.
Temporarily limiting the number of events, speaking engagements, book signings, and special appearances we make. We’re currently honoring our contractual commitments and politely declining new opportunities that might put us at a greater risk. We’re reducing travel, conducting meetings virtually, and reducing social outings for now.
Tweaking the ways in which we interact with Fans at events. We love our Fans and enjoy meeting them, speaking on stages, and signing books for people. This new development has us making a few adjustments to limit the amount of contact our Fans have with our books, products, sign-up sheets, and ourselves:Instead of having everything displayed on the table and inviting Fans to pick books up and look through them, we’re holding the books and demonstrating them to them infomercial-style.When a book is purchased, we pull it from our untouched inventory, personalize and autograph it, and give it directly to the Fan.
Instead of leaving a mailing list sign-up sheet on the table with a pen, we’re asking Fans if they’d like to join our mailing list and putting their contact information on their sheet for them. We then store the clipboard behind the table.

We’re providing hand sanitizer at our booth and using disinfectant wipes on our phone screens after each transaction where the Fan uses their finger to sign a digital signature to authorize their purchase.
Connecting with loved ones and focusing on the future. I sometimes get bogged down with the enormity of what’s going on in the world and want to curl up in a ball under the covers and cry. At times like this, it’s helpful for me to connect with loved ones and to remember what I’m working toward. When I focus on something that really matters to me (like helping kids build their self-esteem), I regain my passion for my business and my writing and continue to move forward toward my dreams.

The world doesn’t end unless we allow outside circumstances to dictate our future. This is a time of great opportunity to be brave, take precautions, and continue to make a positive difference. The world needs us to shine more now than ever before.

I’m curious to learn how it’s affecting you and what you’re doing to prepare and mitigate the impact of the coronavirus on your personal and professional life. Feel free to comment below and share your ideas and inspired actions.

XOXO,

Beauty, Bliss, Business

7 Secrets to Living Life with More Magic, Passion, and Aliveness

January 4, 2016 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

Secret #1: Be your authentic self

“Being your authentic self is the ultimate secret to happiness in life.” ~ Sheri Fink

Be true to yourself always. Don’t worry what other people will think. March to the beat of your own unique drum, and do the things that make you happy.

When I became a children’s author, I was nervous to share the inspiration behind my first book, The Little Rose. I soon realized that through courageously sharing my experience of being bullied, and using that situation as a way to reach children who may be in similar situations, I’m able to help people transform their lives.

My passion for empowering kids far outweighed the fear I felt about being vulnerable and open. Magical things happen when you’re following your passions, and the things that you really love in life.

Secret #2: Surround yourself with people who inspire you

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Always seek to be around people who amplify your energy. After interacting with them, you feel uplifted and excited about life. Look for this reaction when considering friends, coaches, business partners, mentors, clients, Mastermind Group members, etc.

I love being around people who are “in it to win it” in life. My favorite people have a special blend of confidence and vulnerability, work ethic and spirituality, business savvy and creativity, healthy boundaries and compassion, as well as peacefulness and a desire for fun, adventure, and mischief.

They don’t wait for things to happen in life, they go after what they want with style, integrity, and zest. They do what it takes to bring their dreams to life, even when it’s inconvenient. It’s amazing to behold.

Having people like this in your life will inspire you every day to be braver, take more risks, live more authentically, really go after your dreams, and to become the best version of yourself.

Secret #3: Practice blissful thinking

“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.” ~ Will Smith

Dream the biggest dream you can, and then make it even bigger. Visualize the most amazing life you can imagine … then multiply it by 10! It should be so enormous that it simultaneously scares and excites you, inspiring you to really go for it.

When I wrote The Little Rose, I knew in my heart that I wanted my book to be a best-seller. It wasn’t enough for me to just publish the book, I really wanted its empowering message to reach children worldwide. Early on, when I would share my dream of my first book becoming a best-seller, I was sometimes quickly discouraged by well-meaning “experts” who didn’t want me to be disappointed.

I chose to believe that their limitations would not limit me, and I continued to dream my big, authentic, audacious dream. Two weeks after my book debuted on Amazon, it became not only a best-seller, but a #1 best-seller! Moreover, it stayed at #1 for over 60 weeks. Don’t play small in life; go for what you really want and deserve.

Secret #4: De-clutter your life

“If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” ~ Paul Coelho

Let go of anyone, anything, and any opportunity/event/activity/obligation, etc. that no longer serves you or fits into your vision for your ultimate life. Anything that drains your energy must go.

Many times in the past I agreed to do things that didn’t feel exciting, fun, or fulfilling to me, mostly because I wanted the person asking me to like me and think I was a good person. I learned that saying “yes” to everyone else means saying “no” to myself and my own dreams.

Jack Canfield, the co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and best-selling author of The Success Principles, teaches that if it’s not a “Hell Yes,” it’s a “Hell No,” and I live by this philosophy. It makes life so much easier when you can give a calm and confident “no, thank you” to anything that doesn’t sing to your soul. It creates space for what you really want to flow into your life.

Amazing things will come when you create the space for them in your home, your business, your schedule, and your life. When in doubt, throw it out.

Secret #5: Trust your intuition/inner voice

“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” ~ Chinese Proverb

We are all equipped with an inner guidance system. Practice getting in touch with your inner self and listen for the whispers of your soul. Sitting in silence and enjoying nature is a great way to deepen your connection with your inner voice.

Practicing meditation has transformed my life. In the past, I was often overwhelmed with my thoughts to the point where I would actually get headaches from thinking so much. I started meditating four years ago, and I experience an inner peace that I couldn’t have imagined before. Meditation is a wonderful gift you give yourself to connect with your soul. My intuition has become so much stronger as a result.

Many wonderful ideas come when you take the time to listen. When you receive an intuitive nudge, take inspired action as soon as possible and watch the magic that unfolds before you.

Secret #6: Choose to amplify love, joy, and kindness in the world and trust that it will be reflected back to you

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Remember, life is an echo. It always gets back to you. So give goodness.” ~ Anonymous

Sometimes it can feel like we’re bombarded by negativity. Break the chain and refuse to be a part of it. Discontinue blaming, complaining, gossiping, and rationalizing. It’s a waste of your precious energy. Associate with people, places, things, and events that make you feel good, and fill you with hope and joy.

Champion the people who are making a positive difference in the world. I love supporting and sharing stories about my friends who are pursuing their dreams and transforming lives. It inspires me to keep growing and taking risks to become the best I can become. Amplifying the positive will enhance your life, and the lives of everyone around you.

Secret #7: Keep taking action in the direction of your dreams

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” ~ Audrey Lorde

It‘s normal to feel nervous or scared when trying something new. If you feel pulled to pursue something, honor that feeling and continue taking action toward your goal despite your fears and doubts. You’ll never know until you try.

Think about the person you’re becoming, and make the decision from that future perspective. For example, if your dream is to become an author and you’re offered an opportunity to speak about your experiences, the current version of you might be scared and want to turn down the opportunity. There are many seemingly legitimate excuses, but none of them will get you where you ultimately want to go. By thinking about it from the perspective of your future self as an author, you’ll recognize it as an amazing chance to spread your message, build your fan base, and transform lives. Then, the decision becomes easier, and you’re stretching your comfort zone to step into the life you’re truly meant to live.

When you commit to living the life of your dreams, you’ll feel good knowing that you’re working toward a challenge that’s worthy of your efforts. Your life will overflow with passion, magic, and more aliveness than you can imagine. Above all, do what makes you happy, and enjoy this exciting journey!

Beauty, Bliss, Business

Ditching Disappointment: How to Transform a Let Down into a Breakthrough

January 4, 2016 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

Published in Eco Heart Magazine

When you’re going after your dreams and really taking action toward your big goals, there will be occasional disappointments. For whatever reason, things won’t always go the way you hoped, even with the best planning and visualizations. The only way to completely safeguard against experiencing disappointment in our lives is for us not to try anything new or strive for anything beyond what we’ve already got. That leads us nowhere and stagnates our lives. If you’re like me, that’s not even an option.

So, the alternative is to fully embrace our dreams and keep trying to achieve our goals knowing that growth can be painful, and yet, extremely rewarding. Our best bet is to condition ourselves to transform our disappointments into breakthroughs.

To be honest with you, I don’t deal well with disappointment … at all. As a sensitive, deep-feeling writer, I’m especially susceptible to disappointment and all of its flavors. Although I ultimately handle it and keep moving forward, I still don’t like it.

Step 1: Separate Facts from Emotions

It’s okay to feel disappointment. When I’m disappointed, I feel sad for a little while. It can take a few hours to a few days to fully recover, forgive the person and myself, and get completely back on track energetically. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes.

I think the key is to be honest with yourself and separate facts from emotions. How will you feel if you never try? How will you feel if you make progress? How will you feel if you actually achieve your goal? How likely is it to happen if you don’t try?

Fear is just an emotion. When we look at the facts of the situation, we can come up with a logical conclusion that we must go for it.

Most often I find that my disappointments are created by an unmet expectation I have of another person. Maybe a friend I believed in and trusted turned out not to be such a good friend after all. Maybe a guy I was dating misrepresented himself as a prince and turned out to be a toad. Maybe someone promised me they’d do something and then didn’t fulfill their commitment. These things happen and it’s a part of being human.

One time when I was disappointed by a guy I was dating, I was feeling very confused trying to make sense of his strange behavior. It was sucking up a lot of my energy and I didn’t like that feeling. I decided to make a list of the qualities of my ideal man (you can do this for business partnerships, friends, living spaces, vacations, etc. anything you’re trying to make a decision about). I had fun making the list and describing the way this wonderful man would be in the world and would make me feel when we were together.

When I reviewed the guy I had been dating against my list, I could clearly see that he wasn’t a match for me. None of his perplexing behavior mattered anymore because he just wasn’t a match. So, I was able to release all the energy I had tied up in figuring things out and feel the disappointment that he wasn’t an ideal man for me instead of feeling disappointed in myself (which is where I had been before the list). It made things so much clearer and easier to see.

Step 2: Accept Your Feelings

When I feel disappointed, I try to be compassionate with myself and to give myself the space to deal with it (which can be very challenging to do). I withdraw from the situation or person who’s creating the feeling of disappointment for me and I think about it. Not just think, but fully feel it. I accept that I’m disappointed and feeling sad or angry or hurt. I journal about the experience. I’m better able to process my emotions when I write them down.

I may try to meditate to relax. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m still deepening my meditation practice and I try to be kind to myself when I’m not as focused and peaceful as I would like to be. It’s a work in progress.

Step 3: Reach Out to Others

Then, if I’m still riled up, I talk about it with a trusted friend (a person who is happy and successful in this area of his/her life). I give them the facts, share how I feel about it, and receive their input. No gossip, no drama, no sideshow.

In the past, I would keep it all to myself not wanting to be a burden to anyone else or show my vulnerability. I’ve learned that it doesn’t work for me to be a lone wolf. I process things and bounce back faster when I’m surrounded by a few trustworthy friends who can see the light at the end of the tunnel when I’ve lost my flashlight and can’t find my way.

So, I talk about it, get help/advice, and then I choose my actions. I don’t marinate in the feelings. I feel them, get them out into the open, decide what to do, and do it. I do my best not to look backward for too long. It can be hard, but it keeps me moving forward.

Step 4: Let Go and Create Space

Once I commit to an action, I take it. I don’t second-guess it. I just go. So, in the case of a friend who’s let me down in a big way (for example, crossed a major respect boundary that is irreparable for me), I choose to forgive her and to move forward without that negative influence in my life. As much as I might think I miss her, when I separate facts from emotions, I realize that the person I thought she was is not who she really is.

People show us who they are with their actions, not their words, and we have to believe them. So, I really just miss the idea of who I thought she was (a good friend). I accept that, let go of the toxic relationship, and move forward as gracefully as I can.

Does it hurt at first? Yes. Does it hurt forever? No. It can feel like it will, but I promise it will subside over time. Sometimes much faster than you think.

Step 5: Reward Yourself

Once you’ve brought it out into the light and taken action, distraction can be a nice tool to get your positive energy back to a higher level. Do something fun that completely absorbs you. Maybe it’s dancing, or watching the sunset, or going to an amusement park, or watching a movie, or going on a date, or painting, or getting swept up in a great book, anything that you enjoy that you can be fully present while doing. Be good to yourself the way you would treat a child who’s just gone through a heartbreaking experience.

Step 6: Gracefully Move Forward

Then, you just keep moving forward. Keep taking that next step and, before you know it, you’ve travelled a long distance and, you’ve grown and evolved in unexpected ways along the journey.

I believe the key is not to get down on yourself and not to give up. Everything happens for a reason and if we accept this and move forward, nothing can stop us. Connect with your passion for your goal (Why do you want it? How badly do you want it? What will you do when you have it? How will you celebrate? How will you feel?) and then go after it with everything you’ve got. You don’t have it now, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Go ahead, take a risk, and go for what you really, really want in life … you just might get it! And, if not, you’ve just created massive space for something new and wonderful to flow into your life. Either way, you win!

Beauty, Bliss, Business, INNER BEAUTY

Cultivating Bliss: How I Went from Happy to Happiest (and You Can, Too!)

January 4, 2016 sheri_super_admin Leave a comment

I have a confession to make: I’m the happiest I’ve ever felt in my life right now. I’m typically a pretty happy person naturally, but lately it’s been consistently off the charts and with a calm peacefulness that’s new for me.

I started to wonder what I’m doing differently. So, here’s what I discovered about cultivating bliss upon reflection:

I’m taking extraordinary care of myself.

I’m taking my own needs seriously and treating myself like I matter by prioritizing my self-care. That means I’m working out, meditating (most days), getting good sleep, taking dance lessons, spending time with people I love, and journaling each day. I’m using My Bliss Book to prioritize my day, aligning my actions with my biggest goals, and reflecting on my successes.

I’m intentionally making progress toward my dreams … daily.

I decided that this summer is my time to finish the first draft of my long-anticipated novel (finished the first draft a few weeks ago … Yay!), to really take care of my body (see point #1), and to exponentially grow my business. So, each day I take at least one action in each category. Even it if seems like a small thing at the time, by the end of the week, those actions really add up and I feel satisfaction from no longer delaying my dreams. Momentum is building and it’s exciting!

I’m setting healthy boundaries and being very selective about how and with whom I invest my time.

Our time and energy are the most precious gifts we can give someone. I no longer squander them with people who waste my time. When someone shows me who they really are and it makes me feel uncomfortable; I believe them, trust myself, and move on.

It felt awkward saying “no” at first, but it’s incredibly liberating and gets easier every time. And, if I see that someone is disrespecting my boundaries, I speak up. If I don’t like the outcome of that conversation, I say good-bye. No drama, no second-guessing, no attachment, and no sideshows necessary.

I’m eating carbs … daily and unapologetically.

While on my fitness journey, I tried a variety of strategies that were recommended to me. One that I was told would have amazing results to help me “lean out” was to go low-to-no carbs a few days a week. Well, I tried that for a while, but it made me feel crazy. Suddenly food became a big focus, I felt extra emotional and weak, had disrupted sleep almost every night, was very critical of myself and my body, and sometimes couldn’t complete my challenging workouts. It just didn’t feel good to me.

So, I started eating healthy carbs (oatmeal, pistachios, raisins, veggie burgers, green drinks, apples, sourdough bread, etc.) again and occasionally enjoying less-healthy carbs (pizza, french fries, wine, ice cream, etc.) in addition to lots of protein-rich foods (fish, eggs, whey, lentils, Greek yogurt, etc.) and healthy fats (like coconut oil, avocados, and olive oil).

The results? I feel energetic and emotionally balanced, I sleep through the night every night. I’m actually cooking homemade meals and enjoying my food more. I feel strong and positive about my body. I feel good dining with friends without the drama of what to eat. I’m 4 lbs. heavier than I was at my lowest weight, but who cares when you feel the best you’ve ever felt?!

I’m not sure why I ever wanted to look so “lean” when I’m naturally an hourglass-shaped woman. I’m extremely active and my body needs energy from real food sources. My body fat is a healthy 16%. I want to be fit, healthy, curvy, strong, and feminine … not to look like a little girl. I guess I just didn’t question what society has trained us to believe about skinnier being better … it’s not, at least not for my body.

Focusing so much on weighing less takes up valuable energy and attention that could be focused on being more. I’m happy to be taking care of my body and fulfilling it’s unique needs without allowing it to completely dominate my life and disrupt my well-being. I have a deeper respect and appreciation for my body and the life it enables me to live.

I’m spending time in environments that feel good to me.

My environments have always deeply affected me. Awhile back I lived in a space that I couldn’t write in. I don’t know why, but the words would never flow onto the page while I was there. I had to seek outside environments to express myself through my writing. That became very burdensome as it’s difficult for me to write in bustling environments like coffee shops and restaurants. My attention wandered, people came over and talked with me, and I ended up not accomplishing very much despite my best efforts.

That all changed when I moved into a new place with more space, lots of light, and blissful quiet. I chose only to keep the things that are useful, beautiful, or bring me joy. It was a tough and time-consuming decision process, but worth the purge because now I’m surrounded only by beauty.

My environment energizes me in a whole new way. I’m writing all the time and the words flow beautifully. I don’t know why I waited so long to make a change that positively impacts my productivity every day. I love being and creating in my inspiring new space!

I’m giving zero attention to what I don’t want / don’t like.

When I have a negative thought, I no longer analyze it wondering where it came from, what it means, why I’m having it, etc. Instead, I just let it go. This one change has transformed my ability to focus on what I want to accomplish. I’m finding that we move a lot faster toward our dreams when we’re not constantly questioning ourselves.

Thoughts are just thoughts until we energize them with attention and emotion. I’m choosing to give my time and energy to thoughts that empower me, help me achieve my goals, and make a bigger contribution in the world, and that’s making all the difference.

So there you have it, my list of realizations of what I’m doing that’s resulting in higher levels of joy, happiness, and fulfillment in my life. I hope that this list helps you explore adjustments that could enhance your life as well.